You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
