i permit you to call me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
