I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
