bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
