a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
