Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
