I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
