we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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