My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
