return my video game
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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