my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
