That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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