you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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