I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
