Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
