i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
