I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize