Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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