Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
