It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
