Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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