They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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