Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
