their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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