well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
