Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
