You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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