thus making me awesome and them whores
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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