I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize