We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
