Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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