forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
