I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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