Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We had to coat check the pizza.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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