I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
