friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you had me at cake vodka
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
