Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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