I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
