Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize