i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
