He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
