i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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