Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize