Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Walk of Shame today included voting.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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