Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
