You're so nebulous sometimes
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
