Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize