Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
