so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
