I wish I could teleport
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
