I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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