Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
