Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize