did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this will be a night to untag.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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