My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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