My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
