Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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