sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need to sanitize my soul.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
