There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
