i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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