i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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