So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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