69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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