Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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