..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
