He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
