She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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