i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
