how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
