I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize