First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize