How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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